Knowing how to use a vibrator comes down to a few calm steps: charge it, wash it, add a little water-based lubricant if you like, and start on the lowest setting, moving slowly and changing one thing at a time. There is no technique to master and no goal to reach. What matters is noticing what feels good to you, at your own pace.
Types of vibrators
Vibrators come in many shapes. These are the five families you will find in our shop: each one concentrates or spreads the sensation in its own way, and that matters more than the number of modes.
- Pinpoint vibrators have a slim stem and a fine tip that focuses the vibration on a small area. You will find them in our Pinpoint collection.
- Air-pulse stimulators work with rhythmic waves of air through a soft opening rather than with vibration. They are in our Air Pulse collection, and a separate guide explains how to use a rose-shaped air-pulse toy.
- Wands have a larger, rounded head for broad massage, on the shoulders as much as anywhere else. Browse our Wands collection.
- Wearables with an app sit in your underwear, and you or a partner change the rhythm from a smartphone. They are in our Remote & App collection, and our guide to long-distance and app-controlled vibrators explains how they connect.
- Couples vibrators are made to be shared: a U-shaped vibrator worn by both partners, for example, or a soft vibrating ring. See our Couples collection.
Before the first time
A few minutes of preparation make the first time more relaxed, because you won't be looking for buttons or a charger halfway through.
- Read the manual. The manufacturer's instructions come first: they explain the buttons, how to charge the toy and whether it can go in water.
- Charge it fully with the cable supplied, and keep the charging contacts dry.
- Wash it with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, then let it dry.
- Choose a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubricants can damage silicone toys, so leave them aside unless the manual says otherwise.
- Try the controls with the toy in your hand: switch it on, step through the settings and find the off button.
If you would like to use it in the bath or the shower, first check that the manufacturer rates it as water-resistant, as is the case for Étoile (rated IPX7), and never charge it while it is wet.
How to use a vibrator: the first minutes
Start on the lowest setting. Rest the vibrator on the palm of your hand or on your forearm for a few seconds to get a feel for the intensity, then move on to your body.
Many people begin somewhere neutral, such as the thighs or the belly, or over a layer of underwear, which softens the sensation. A wand like Étoile, whose soft head the manufacturer suggests for the shoulders and the neck as well, lets you begin with a simple massage.
When you feel ready, move it slowly towards the area you want to explore, for example around the clitoris or the vulva, and let light contact do the work. Change one thing at a time: first the position, then the pressure, then the setting. If anything feels uncomfortable, ease off or stop.
There is no time limit and nothing to achieve: some days a few minutes are enough, other days you will want longer. If you are exploring with a partner, talk about it first and agree that either of you can pause at any moment.
How to choose your first vibrator
No single vibrator suits everyone, so start from the sensation you are curious about, focused or broad, and then compare these four points.
- Shape. A fine tip concentrates the sensation; a round head spreads it. Some bodies bend, and size counts for storage and travel: according to the manufacturer, Étoile's head bends up to 270° and the whole toy is about 20 cm long, while Astrid holds the angle you give it.
- Noise. Sound depends on the motor and on the setting you use. If discretion matters to you, go by what the manufacturer states: of the toys in this guide, Lunaria is the one described as having a quiet motor.
- Controls. Most vibrators have buttons on the body; wearables can also be controlled from an app. Many modes give more variety, but a few steady settings are plenty to begin with: the manufacturer lists 20 vibration patterns for Étoile and 10 for Nocturne.
- Charging. According to the manufacturer, all five toys in this guide are USB rechargeable: Phoebe with a magnetic USB cable, the others with a USB charging cable.
Pinpoint vibrators: a fine tip for focused touch
A pinpoint vibrator puts the sensation exactly where you aim it. You hold the slender stem lightly, a little like a pen, and the small tip lets you explore one spot at a time.
Ours differ mainly in shape and in how they sit in the hand. Here is what the manufacturer states:
- Nocturne: a fine ball tip on a slender stem, two soft interchangeable heads to change the feel of the tip, and 10 vibration patterns.
- Phoebe: a polished rose-gold stem with a fine rounded tip, 14 vibration modes and magnetic USB charging; about 15.5 cm long.
- Lunaria: a long, curved rose-gold stem, 10 vibration frequencies and a quiet motor; about 17.5 cm long, with a sculpted body that sits in the hand so the stem reaches where you want without changing your grip.
At first, try keeping the tip still, then move it slowly in small circles or along a line, always on a low setting. You can compare them side by side in our Pinpoint collection, and our guide explains what a pinpoint vibrator is in more detail.
After use: cleaning and storage
Clean your vibrator before and after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, then let it dry completely before you put it away. Keep the charging contacts dry, and don't submerge it unless the manufacturer rates it as water-resistant.
Never boil a vibrator: all our silicone toys contain electronics. Store it in a cool, dry place, separately from other toys, and charge it with the cable supplied. Our guide on how to clean sex toys goes into materials and lubricants.
Questions
How do you use a vibrator as a beginner?
Charge and wash it, choose a quiet moment and start on the lowest setting, over underwear or on a neutral area. Move slowly, change one thing at a time and stop if anything feels uncomfortable.
How is a female vibrator used?
Most are used on the outside of the body: you rest the tip or head lightly around the clitoris or the vulva, start on the lowest setting and adjust the angle, pressure and mode slowly.
How do I choose a vibrator?
Start from the sensation you are curious about: a focused tip, a broad head, air pulses instead of vibration, or a toy a partner can control. Then compare shape, size, controls, charging and what the manufacturer says about noise and water.
What types of vibrators are there?
The main families are pinpoint vibrators, air-pulse stimulators, wands, wearables with an app and couples vibrators. They differ in where the sensation goes and how you control it.
How does a vibrator work?
A small motor, powered by a rechargeable battery, makes the body or the tip vibrate. The buttons, or an app, change the intensity and the rhythm, which manufacturers call modes, patterns or frequencies.
Which lubricant should I use?
A water-based one: silicone-based lubricants can damage silicone toys. Oil-based products are harder to wash off and must never be used with latex condoms.
This guide is general information, not medical advice. Specifications are as stated by the manufacturer. If you feel pain, have a health condition or are unsure, talk to a doctor.